Believe it or not, love can survive, even if your husband, boyfriend or lover is in prison. My husband and I are prime examples, and not only has ourlove survived, but it has grown stronger with each passing day…with each beat of our hearts. I like the saying, “we are 2 hearts that beat as one.”
My husband has been within the prison system for the past 23 months. We have benn married for 4 years, of which 23 months we have been separated by prison walls. But we have proven that “love prevails,” and not even prison walls can keep us apart!
“How do you both do it?” you may ask. It is easy, and in this article, I hope to give you a few basic tips.
First of all, it does help to be madly “in love” with each other! Then, the rest becomes easy!
1. Keep in close contact by the phone. As most prison wives know, prison calls are highly expensive. If you are able to, accept those collect calls. If you are not capable of it, keep in close contact through the mail. I send my husband letters, computer print-outs of articles and information he is interested in, newspaper clippings. I keep manilla envelopes at home and throughout the week I slip things of interest into the envelope…Then I make at least one, if not more trips to the post office to mail letters and envelopes to him. At my post-office I am a well- known face for the past 23 months!
2. Send him lots of cards for holidays, and other times. It helps me to not only think of him while looking for “that perfect card,” but he enjoys receiving them, and often shows them to the fellow inmates. Remember that “mail-time’ is a very important time of the day when in prison. Some guys never even receive mail…it is almost a game or competition with the guys as how much mail they receive….The inmates would always joke around with my husband that his wife was going to cause the mailroom to ‘close,’ as I was sending him so much mail.
…..Valentine’s day is a few days away…I have sent several cards to my husband, and he has sent me 7 cards!….if there are times he cannot buy cards, he makes his own, which are very special to me.
3. Photos…I keep photos of my husband throughout the house…in the bedroom, living room, and kitchen…In the beginning I would go to the refrigerator and hug it, where his picture was…I would talk to his picture. I also carry a pix of the both of us, with our dog , on my keychain. When he first went to prison, I mailed him at least close to 100 pictures of us. He was able to put them in photo albums and he would happily show his pix to the other guys. And yes, my hubby would sleep with those photo books under his pillow, he missed me so much.
4. Share your thoughts, feelings, and emotions on the phone. Tell him if you are lonely…or even angry….it is OK to be honest. After all, your husband is in prison, and you are allowed to feel what you feel…..but most of all, tell him you “love him.” …a little “love talk” will get you through those lonely days and nights.
5. Daydream about your husband. Think abotu those past days with him, and think about how the future will be when he gets home. Yes, daydream, and at night dream…and imagine he is still there next to you at night…Think about each other, as much as you can!
6. Keep the household together while he is gone. Also, do something for yourself, to make you a better person…for example, take a college course, or go to adult school…get involved in church activities…join the choir!..do volunteer work, at the hospital or nursing home…try to put a little sunshine in the lives of others…try not to concentrate on the difficulties you are going through at this time…
7. Look forward to the future, and know that you are getting there, even though it is one step at a time. Be strong and positive that your love will survive……For us, it is easy, because, “we love each other very much…and that is simply that…prison or not”!
I hope this article has made your day a little more positive, and that I helped you through another day….Happy Valentine’s Day!………and don’t forget to tell your husband, lover, boyfriend, or whoever else is in your life, “I love you.”…Those are 3 very important words!
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Source by Frances Russo
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